"What's this point if it never goes anywhere."

Misheard quote. Dang, I hate that. It fits the way I remember it, not so much otherwise. And so I misquote. Intentionally.

Story of my life. I love a song until I know what they really say. I love a company until I learn what they really do. Which is better? To live blind and enjoy what you think you know or to know the truth and despair.

Maybe that's dramatic. Maybe you can know the truth and not despair. But how? There is so little light and so little to enjoy, we cling to anything that brings us joy. But if it's false joy it isn't joy at all. Guess you just have to dig and dig and find the real joy and hold tight through the rest.

Like jimmies. I always think I'm gonna love jimmies. So colorful, so beautiful, so full of life. But really so disgusting, so false, so off-putting. Yes, I'm talking about sprinkles. Fake and waxy. So not what they should be.

Not like an IPA. Bitter, bitter. But so bright. So lovely, only leaves behind trees and nature.

I littered today. A plastic bag. I feel like I single-handedly destroyed all the holiness God put into this earth. Step by step, we make it base and fill it with sin. Essentially hating God. Oh, God I don't want to hate you. But in my heart I hold everything all wrong. I want to know you but I read Buzzfeed. I want to love my daughter but I only scold her behavior. I want to serve my husband but I only think of myself.

I hide so much. But I suppose you know.

Kicks

Never. I repeat. Never. Downgrade to a basic phone. They're shit. I'm day nine without a phone. All because of an ill-made decision to try a feature phone.

My beautiful HTC One, Suzette, is on her way. I'll call her Susie for short. She's red. ;)

I've suffered this week. Suffered like the fucking selfish lady I am.

I haven't suffered at all. But I have missed my phone.

On the plus side. I think I'm going to go shopping soon. None of my clothes fit. I must be weird-shaped. Nothing ever fits. If an 8 is too small, why the hell does a 10 fall off!?!?!?!?!

I just have to find my style. It doesn't exist in this county. Makes for frustrating shopping trips. However, I am excited to drive down to C-bus. I need to go to T.J.'s too.

I actually want to blow-off work tomorrow. I've never felt that way before.

Anyone ever heard of post menstrual syndrome? I think I have it.