What to Do

So, my boy's doing bad. What to do. He needs a break. Something's gotta give, right? What to do.

So, I'm thinking, babysitter one day a week. Massages at least twice a month. Les Paul. Marshell. Music room. Reading chair and "end tablet." Curtains and nice afternoon light. Two hours of peace once a week. Why is there no time for rest? Always just hury, hury; busy busy. He needs more rest.

Maybe it's me. I'm a little stressy. Too restless, too ancy, too bored. (Huh, and I wonder why my kid's a kinetic wonder.) Hmmmmm. Yeah. And everybody knows it's the ladies who set the tone. It's like a dog whistle and we're all dogs. Maybe. Maybe not so bad. But I've been a little edgy and nervous since the babe showed up...she's a doll, but I think I may have an unwarrented, irrational fear of sudden death. Not sudden infant death, sudden anytime death. SAD.

So, the scoop. The game plan. The low down. More R&R. More Bill Withers. More cigars. More Dogfish Head. More camamile, chocolate, adult fun. And presentness. That's the clinker. How to be here. With my boy. With my girl. And at peace.

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Good Morning

Hello.  So, I'm not good with continuity here.  What was I talking about last time, cleaning or something?  We're still organizing/cleaning.  Things are actually looking better.  I like it.  I've been bummed lately though.  I don't know if it's 3rd shift or feeling less-than-stellar @ my job or being in a continual state of half-mindedness or being sort of bored or feeling like I can't seem to get anything done or realizing we might not be able to afford a good chunk of land or that I can't keep up with the Janes.  Most of those things are because of 3rd shift though really.  So, we'll blame it on the nighties.  And Baby was just starting to get easy when, bam!, teeth.  Now she doesn't sleep.  So when I am actually home at night, I'm not sleeping then either.  Boooooooooooooooo.  :(  I have all these dreams of sewing cute little dresses and making dolls and canning food and baking and spending time outside, but reality is I can't seem to get caught up on laundry and basic cleaning.  Also, I want to brew beer.  Mr. Simon does, but I want to with him.  I do seem to make it outside on a fairly regular basis--that's good.  That keeps my spirits up.  I like nature (except fruit flies).  I think I'm just tired.  Here, go listen to this:
http://youtu.be/4IKddfxkDWk
That is a good song.  A good song for a tired Mama.  I love music.  Music makes my soul rest.

Organizing Schmorganizing

So, I'm trying to clean up my act.  By which I mean my house.  Boy, is that a job.  Actually, organizing the house isn't so much a job as actually getting to it.  That's the hard part.  That's the toughie.  What with working and baby A glued to my hip (or boob) (yes, my 11 month old is still glued to my boob--so sue me) and laundry and dishes and five minutes for my hubby, I just don't ever seem to get to it.  :(  You will be very happy to note, however, that I just took a huge box of crapola to the Goodwill on Monday.  That was awesome.  I also cleaned/disinfected the sinks (kitchen and bath), tub, and toilet which isn't really organizing, but still felt great.  I just really hate to clean when I could be spending time with my family.  It just seems like the most rediculous waste of time.  I mean, doesn't it?  Cleaning?  When baby and man are in need of some attention?  Who needs it.  That's what I say.  :)  And I'm the boss, so there.

Live Your Life

My husband gave me some good advise yesterday, "Stop trying to be like other people and do what they do.  Just be yourself and do what you're passionate about.  You live your life."  And he's so right.  And I'm so bad at that.  Second to an uncanny selfishness, my other big sin is fear of man.  I'm a people-pleaser.  And it does me no good.  And I don't want my daughter learning that.  So, in the spirit of full disclosure: I love my job because I love helping people, I hate knitting because it makes me feel mental, I love gardening because I love digging in the dirt and playing with worms (and if nothing ever grew, I'd still love it), I totally love shocking people with grossness (my daughter audibly giggles at her own farts and I'm 100% to blame), my all time favorite thing to do is waste time with my husband, I love me a good movie, and I love to lie on the floor and absorb an entire album.  I only like reading books when I don't actually realize I'm reading (sorry Shakespeare--you're just too damn convoluted) and I actually don't mind a bit that my house is super messy.  There, all things I generally wouldn't admit.  That actually makes me feel a lot better.  :)

The Dead are Waking

Wooooooooooooooooot! So, last time I posted, well, different life then. Now have hubby and baby. Baby's gonna be 9 months old in a couple days--how's she's grown. Anyway, maybe I'll actually make something of this blog. I've always kept it in the back of my mind. Life now doesn't resemble what it was when this blog got started--I'm different in a million ways--all good (well mostly, I hope!). I have a lot to offer (who doesn't?). I've got things to say--and not just dark and poetical things--real life and living things. I think I always liked the idea of this blog, but could never make it happen because I was just altogether too sad. Not sad now. :)

This morning and last I made my husband porage for breakfast and we ate together before he went to work. It was very nice. There is something very wonderful about sending your man off into the world with a full belly and a packed lunch. Nothing makes you feel more like a woman, like a meaningful and uncontentious wife than to take care of and properly feed your husband. This is life.

Mission Statement

I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing here, but I need a hobby and this fits the bill. This is not going to be a themed blog like a cooking blog or an art blog or a current events blog, just my blog. Life in general and in specific. But now I must go because today it's running and business and to-do.

Life is not life without...

...the refresh of fall or bare feet on cold dirt or seeing clouds gray and heavy with rain. These are the things I take comfort in; these are the things I so often refuse to admit. I move so quickly, so quickly to forget; but I don't know why. Selah.