Winter Magic

Making "ice cream" with Andromeda this a.m. and she added "an ounce of snowflakes." This is going to be some damn good ice cream!

Even Better Waffles!

10 oz gluten free flour mix (Shauna's is by far the best!)
2 oz ground flax meal
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
4 Tbsp. melted coconut oil
1 3/4 cup almond milk
1 Tbsp. lemon juice (or 2 tsp. vinegar)
3 eggs
2 Tbsp. maple syrup

2 tsp. vanilla
 

Preheat electric waffle iron. Mix dry ingredients. Whisk wet ingredients in a stand mixer until well combined. Add dry ingredients and whisk for 1 minute. Let batter stand for at least 5 minutes. Grease waffle iron with coconut oil as needed. Eat/serve immediately! Light, crispy, delicious!

Haters Hate Wally World

If you hate Wal-Mart because they love the bottom line, then hate yourself for loving the same. If you hate Wal-Mart because they accept government subsidies, then hate NPR and PBS because they take money from those same controlling bastards. (I'm telling myself this too, don't be offended.)

Birthday Interview: A at 4

So, the best idea ever, Birthday Interviews, taken directly from Lauren @ Sparkling Adventures. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

“A cupcake maker. Uh, but I don’t know really.”

What will that be like?

“Just, actually, so fun. You guys can be in it.”

What makes you happy?

“Ice cream.”

What makes you sad?

“No eating ice cream.”

What do you dream about?

“I dream about being a mermaid.”

Who are your friends?

“Olive and Squigy.”

What are your favorite toys?

“This one." (R2D2)

What do you like to do with mommy?

“Bake.”

What do you like to do with daddy?

“Help him work.”

What's your favorite color?

“Pink.”

What's your favorite book?

“Library books. And cards; I love those.”

What does mommy do all day?

“Bake and do other stuff.”

What does daddy do all day?

“Work and sometimes restes. And wants to go to sleep but he can’t because I wake him up.”

What's the most important thing you've done this year?

“Have a birthday.”

What do you want to do before your next birthday?

“Have ice cream.”

Life and Vices

I might not be very good at feeling. Or knowing my feelings. In fact, I'm not. Not good at either. Feelings are far from me. But music helps me feel. And not just what the artist is feeling. It helps me find my own feelings. Gives a kind of shape and warmth to my heart or spirit or whatever. Is the spark that helps me live. Music, what would I do without you? Of all the things I love and that help me, music is the most. The most everything. Although I do love coffee and chocolate. But maybe those are just vices. :)

Waffles!

1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup ground flax
1 T. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
4 T. coconut oil, melted
2 T. maple syrup
1 1/2 cup almond milk
2 eggs
1 T. vanilla

Preheat a waffle iron. Mix dry ingredients. Melt coconut oil in a large Pyrex measuring cup (at least 2 cup). Add syrup, milk, eggs, vanilla and mix well. Add wet ingredients to dry and mix until just combined. Brush a little melted coconut oil onto waffle iron. Cook batter in waffle iron according to manufacturer's directions. :) Enjoy!

Pumpkin Pancakes

6 eggs, separated
1 1/2 cups pumpkin (1 small can)
1/2 cup rice flour
2 T. ground flax
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
3/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
2 T. maple syrup

Separate eggs, beat whites until fluffy. Mix yolks, pumpkin, flour, flax, and spices, salt, vanilla, and maple syrup in a different bowl. Fold in whites.

Cook in coconut oil in cast iron skillet, serve with plenty of maple syrup. :)

5th of July

My little A just found a pet firefly and named him Chewbacca. I couldn't be prouder. :)

Hobby Lobby is the Best!

Yeah, so what's the deal hating on the H.L.!?! When did it become ok to disrespect a company's choices? You want oral contraception, go f-ing work somewhere else! It's not discrimination to choose to not pay for someone else's abortion. It's called being responsible and ethical and loving and standing up for what you believe!

If only the public knew/patients were informed that one function of the Pill is that may cause an abortion! This should be common knowledge. It's not a proven fact that it causes abortions, but there is no way to disprove it. This is just science people! But I suppose the fact that you may be killing a baby doesn't weigh heavy on the hearts of many anymore.

I, for one, am proud of H.L.

Fraud

So, I'm a nurse, right? Right. I am. Really, truly. Registered and all. But I'm not. I don't believe in medicine. I don't believe in any of the "preventative medicine screenings" based on "scientific research." Yeah. Sorry. If you've ever read any of these "studies," and you have any sort of ability to think beyond what you're told, that shit "don't make no sense." Call me an ignorant nurse. But I'll call you an ignorant doctor.

And I really wanted to be a nurse practitioner. I really did. I really want to go further. Because I'm bored. Because I'm restless. Because once I know how to do something, I'm done. And, also, I want to help people. I really, really do. I like helping people. But I can't lie to myself. And I can't lie to people.

Don't get me wrong. Not all medicine is a lie. But a hell of a lot of it is an experiment. A human experiment. And that's unethical.

And we're just not quite so amazing as we think we are. Plan and simple, I think we know shit.

So, there you have it. My life is a lie. I go to work everyday and implement protocol that's just all an experiment. Granted, some of it does appear to help. A fellow nurse once said, "Ninty-eight percent of people live or die despite what we do. One percent are helped, and one percent die because of what we do." It was a super unscientific statement (I suppose), but it bears weight I think. And deserves consideration.

So, there you have it. What am I to do?

"What's this point if it never goes anywhere."

Misheard quote. Dang, I hate that. It fits the way I remember it, not so much otherwise. And so I misquote. Intentionally.

Story of my life. I love a song until I know what they really say. I love a company until I learn what they really do. Which is better? To live blind and enjoy what you think you know or to know the truth and despair.

Maybe that's dramatic. Maybe you can know the truth and not despair. But how? There is so little light and so little to enjoy, we cling to anything that brings us joy. But if it's false joy it isn't joy at all. Guess you just have to dig and dig and find the real joy and hold tight through the rest.

Like jimmies. I always think I'm gonna love jimmies. So colorful, so beautiful, so full of life. But really so disgusting, so false, so off-putting. Yes, I'm talking about sprinkles. Fake and waxy. So not what they should be.

Not like an IPA. Bitter, bitter. But so bright. So lovely, only leaves behind trees and nature.

I littered today. A plastic bag. I feel like I single-handedly destroyed all the holiness God put into this earth. Step by step, we make it base and fill it with sin. Essentially hating God. Oh, God I don't want to hate you. But in my heart I hold everything all wrong. I want to know you but I read Buzzfeed. I want to love my daughter but I only scold her behavior. I want to serve my husband but I only think of myself.

I hide so much. But I suppose you know.

Kicks

Never. I repeat. Never. Downgrade to a basic phone. They're shit. I'm day nine without a phone. All because of an ill-made decision to try a feature phone.

My beautiful HTC One, Suzette, is on her way. I'll call her Susie for short. She's red. ;)

I've suffered this week. Suffered like the fucking selfish lady I am.

I haven't suffered at all. But I have missed my phone.

On the plus side. I think I'm going to go shopping soon. None of my clothes fit. I must be weird-shaped. Nothing ever fits. If an 8 is too small, why the hell does a 10 fall off!?!?!?!?!

I just have to find my style. It doesn't exist in this county. Makes for frustrating shopping trips. However, I am excited to drive down to C-bus. I need to go to T.J.'s too.

I actually want to blow-off work tomorrow. I've never felt that way before.

Anyone ever heard of post menstrual syndrome? I think I have it.